Valentine

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and let me say, WHAT A WEEK for Valentine's Day to fall upon. This picture is a literal representation of walking into the future, time isn't stopping, the days still turn into weeks into months into years. We have phases, seasons.

If you read last week's post, you'll realize real quick it wasn't normal; in fact, it was pretty dark. If you read last week's post, you probably wondered what in the world was going on, what could possibly inspire such a vague, somewhat depressing quip. Well, here's the story:

Last Sunday night, the 3rd of February, there was a bunch of peeps hangin' at my house. At about 10:45 pm, I wanted to show Ms. Morgan McGannon a video as well as our new "chill zone," the garage. We just recently put a few couches, tables, etc. to make the garage a SWEET spot to relax, study, play music, anything and everything you can think of. Now, our lawn has not been maintained so our grass is very overgrown. In fact, here's a picture of it:

Now, Ms. Morgan McGannon was not wearing shoes and did not want to walk through the treacherous grass to the garage. Carry her? Why not. I pick her up, take a step into the abyss of the jungle grass, step into a hole/unevenground/SOMETHING that throws me off balance, I stumble, with Morgan in my arms, and we go down. Morgan's head comes in direct contact with the ground, we both stand up, seemingly alright. She mentions her head hurt, which is normal for someone who is dropped on their head. And then she needs to sit down, and then she is immense pain, and then she can't move her neck at all. WOAH. After some initial tests, she is able to move all of her appendages, which was great, but her neck and head were basically immobile... and in a lot of pain. NOT GOOD. AT ALL. I have been around a surprising amount of neck injuries and if there's one thing to learn, it's that neck injuries are extremely serious and can occur even in the simplest situations, such as being dropped onto grass. Neck injuries need to be treated as a worse-case-scenario because one wrong move and full body paralysis becomes an option. It's one thing to break an arm and assess the situation, it's another thing to mess with the neck. We stabilized her neck as best we could, talked to a number of reliable resources, and had to make a decision: 911.

The ambulance came, and we went. Surreal. X-ray. CAT scan. NEGATIVE. Good news. Strained muscles. Pulled muscles. Time will heal, throw some pain killers in the mix, a few days of intense soreness, and we should be good. However, what should have taken maybe an hour at the ER took 10. We spent all night in the ER, waiting, waiting, waiting. Listening to babies crying, listening to people coughing, waiting, waiting, waiting, listening to beeping, beeping, beeping. It was a LONG night. Mr. Karl Holmlund saved the day by coming to pick us up. Morgan was down for the count, and she would stay out for days.

I took it really hard. I dropped my girlfriend on her head. WHO DOES THAT. I hurt the girl I care for most. WHO DOES THAT. Yeah, it was an accident, I get it. I had little to no control of the situation. I get it. I still beat myself for days. And I'm talking BEAT. And you know who came through? Ms. Morgan McGannon did. She encouraged me so much even amidst her pain. The pain that I caused her. What an example of forgiveness, grace, and humility. Throughout this experience, I was continuously reminded of promises made by my Father in heaven. Even though I mess up, Jesus forgives and forgets, encouraging all the way through. SACRIFICIAL LOVE.

It's a been a week and a few days. Morgan is still in pain. Heatpads, icepacks, medicines, massages, resting. Some days are harder than others, some days hurt worse than others. We had some GNARLY conversations this week. I had some GNARLY conversations this week. I feel like I've matured 5 years, I feel grown up.

 

But you know what? I have learned SO MUCH. It's been a growing experience beyond belief. You could sit in school for years and never even touch on the things only experience and living through this has taught me. I am legitimately a better man because of the multiple complications that came up in the last week. I've heard them called GROWING PAINS.

Unreal.

#breathe

I have a few videos for you. They're rad.

First, enjoy beautiful music.

Second, Mr. Marc Wymore asked Mr. Isaac Svensson and I to document his miraculous kidney transplant. His sister, Corri, stepped up to the plate and donated one of her kidneys to Marc, a type 1 diabetic who had 10% kidney function left. This is his story.

Lastly, a FANTASTIC trailer. So inspired by this.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that is today's blog post. PHEW. So intense. I am so thankful for Ms. Morgan McGannon. So so so thankful.

Who are you thankful for?

Fragile

Here's a picture.

This blog post is short because I honestly don't feel like talking a whole lot. It's been a BRUTAL last few days. I can't go into detail just quite yet, so I'll just put it this way:

Be thankful for everything you take for granted. For conversation, for hanging out, for walking around, for taking a stroll. Life's fragile.

future's now

This is the first blog post of 2013 and the first blog post of the Spring 2013 semester. Take a look at the picture. This is a literal metaphor of looking into the future. The future is rapidly approaching, the future is among us. However, this time "the future" looks a little different. "The future" doesn't look like another semester of school, "the future" doesn't look like the same ol', same ol'. This future looks like NO school, NEW life. I will be graduating at the end of this semester in pursuit of success in the job market. After all, that's what the point of college is, right? A professor put it this way:

"You're about to be fired from your full-time job of 18 years and be forced to figure out how you're going to live. Does that involve finding a new job? Changing living conditions? Changing locations? Good luck."

The time is now. The future is now.


So, this is the first blog post in the last six weeks. When asked to describe my winter break, I have been responding with one word: "short." Yeah, it was six weeks. Yeah, many Biola students think it DRAGS and LULLS and takes just way to long. Me? I could have easily lasted a few more weeks. I've realized this is simply in Lott Family fashion. For my whole life, our breaks have been packed full of trips, adventures, fun, and the like. We travel, we sight-see, we do everything but sit around at home watching television. I'll give you the simple breakdown.

Finals → Wedding → Simi Valley → Reedley → Christmas → Walnut Creek → Simi → New Years → Rose Parade → Biola → IRIS → Ralph B. Clark Park → Long Beach → Young Empress → Temecula → San Diego → Temecula → Simi Valley → Ventura → Pismo Beach → UCLA → Biola → UCLA → First Day of School

Here's the slightly longer version:

After a week of difficult end-of-the-semester final exams, I spent two near-all-nighters editing a wedding video so the couple would be able to have their video in time for Christmas. I then headed to Simi Valley where I stayed for 1 hour before I left with my family to central California to celebrate Christmas with my extended family on my mom's side. After a few days and a lot of fun, we continued north into Walnut Creek to celebrate Christmas with my extended family on my dad's side. After a few days and a lot of fun, we returned home to Simi Valley to celebrate Christmas by ourselves, the immediate family. After a few days and a lot of fun, we experienced New Year's Eve with our long-time friends the Weirs and Gencarella's which led into a observance of the 2013 Rose Parade in Pasadena. I then made my way down to Biola University to participate in the interterm IRIS by speaking about my documentary thisisstuttering to preface the film The King's Speech. This then led into a visit from Ms. Morgan McGannon as we headed to Ralph B. Clark Park. Long Beach was next as Mr. Isaac Svensson and I prepared for a music video shoot the following day for a band called Young Empress, which turned out exceedingly well. I then made my way down to Temecula to visit Ms. Morgan McGannon and her family. We ate at a winery, we enjoyed San Diego, we enjoyed Temecula, we shopped at a mall, we enjoyed relaxing. After a few days and a lot of fun, I returned to Simi Valley to work hard before Ms. Morgan McGannon would visit my family. After a few days and a lot of fun, Ms. Morgan McGannon visited and we toured Simi, visited friends, stayed up way too late with Mr. Sean Cook, enjoyed Ventura, and prepared for our trip to Pismo Beach with my family. After a few days and a lot of fun, my family, along with Ms. Morgan McGannon and Mr. Dan Mitchell, made our way to Pismo Beach to enjoy a few days and a lot of fun, including but not limited to playing football on the beach, Joe vs. The Volcano, Quelf, McClintocks, and The Monster.  We then headed back home to Simi Valley, Ms. Morgan McGannon left, and I said goodbye to Simi Valley as I prepared for a documentary shoot involving Mr. Marc Wymore, in which his sister Corri was going to be giving him, a type 1 diabetic since he was 2, her kidney in a miraculous kidney transplant, an evidential example of God's providence and provision. After a few days and my mind being rocked by the incredible intricacies of modern medicine, I returned to Biola and to begin the semester. And here we are. Right now.


Here's a slightly longer version of a specific part: IRIS.

I was honored and curious to speak in front of about 100 Biola students about my life as a stutterer and my film thisisstuttering. To understand the context read this: http://emliv.blogspot.com/2012/12/thisisbig.html. This was the first step of complete vulnerability and honestly in direct response to the release of the trailer to thisisstuttering. It's difficult to put into words how this speaking engagement went, it was an incredible experience. The entire day was preparation for the viewing of the film The King's Speech, "the story of King George VI of Britain, his impromptu ascension to the throne and the speech therapist who helped the unsure monarch become worthy of it." A number of professors spoke on different topics, which led to Mrs. Teri Clemons, a speech pathologist/professor at Biola, to speak about the science of speech impediments. I was then introduced as a "real-life stutterer" and I told my life-story, what it's been like living with a stutter, the challenges, the trials, the learning opportunities. I then showed the trailer to thisisstuttering and talked about the project, the challenges, the trials, the learning opportunities. The audience was then polled for questions, to which I answered to the best of my ability. It was at this point when the significance of this speaking engagement became known. First of all, and this has taken me 21 years to figure out, but God has given me my speech impediment for a reason. I've come to the realization that if this film changes one person for the kingdom of God, then my years of struggle and embarrassment have been worth it. It's easy to blame God for my stutter, "what did I do wrong? Why do I deserve this?" Instead, it's "use this for your glory" and "reach people that would not be reached by any other means." So, I spoke publicly about my deepest, darkest secret. I was vulnerable. Following the Q+A, a number people came up to me, saying things such as "I have never told anybody this, but I'm struggling in this way" or "thank you for being vulnerable, now I will be more intentional and sensitive with my friends." These conversations following the session are what turned this opportunity from "cool" to "INCREDIBLE." God is using this film in ways that are just barely becoming known. This has already been a life-changing experience and I am nowhere even close to be able to predict what is coming next. I can barely even handle it. God's got this.



WHAT.



Here is all sorts of different media things from break. Enjoy.

And that's that! That's the post! Unbelievable. Shout out to Dan Mitchell for taking the last few pictures of Ms. Morgan McGannon and myself. I'm all about them.



Think about your last few months. Think about all the things that made you genuinely happy. Are those things substantial enough to base a lifestyle of them?